a reason to celebrate

One year ago today, I created this blog. Those of you who've been following this blog and past ones of mine, might be amazed that during this past year, I've not only made very few changes to its appearance, if any, but have not had a reason to shut this blog down and start again from scratch! Like, oh, from someone threatening to sue me for its content! *wink* Only one other blog I've had, and I've had numerous ones, lasted this long and it was the very first blog I created back in 2005.

Of course, what would my blog be without a little bit of a change after all this time?!

You may not have noticed it yet. It's a very subtle change. *snicker*

Okay then...the saga continues in The Great Appliance Meltdown of 2008!

When I last left you, the TV in my family room was on the fritz and I couldn't connect my kids' new computer through high-speed Internet because there was no signal coming from the phone jack.

The cable TV tech arrived yesterday and determined within just minutes that my TV was, in fact, a goner. I mentioned the TV I had in the attic and he kindly retrieved it for me. It worked! The video, that is. There was no sound and despite his efforts, he could not produce any sound. I guess I should have realized that any TV set that came from my late grandmother, who passed at 91, wouldn't be working right because she was stone deaf and probably didn't even realize that there was no audio!

The tech mentioned to me that he had spotted another TV set in my attic. Yippee! Yeah...not so fast! This particular set was so old, it had no volume, channel or power buttons located anywhere on the set and a remote control was needed in order to change the channel to 4. Surprise surprise, there was no remote control! Now what would make you think that I'd have any luck after the weekend I had?!

Right now, it's TV Central in my family room. Three different TV sets, three different sizes. My biggest worry was getting the two larger ones out of my family room as I am unable to budge either of them with my little finger.

I had no other choice but to go back to Best Buy last night, the fourth time in the past few days, to look for a new TV. YAY! I get to drain even more money from my bank account!! WOO HOO!

If any of you have had to purchase a new TV set lately, you're aware that most of the TVs on the market are flat-screened. Very few are the big, bulky kind from yester-year, like the two that are stuck in my family room. I found a reasonably-priced set that I really liked and I figured it was time for a new entertainment stand as well as the one I have now is older than dirt and has, coincidentally enough, started falling apart recently.

Things couldn't have gone any smoother which kinda' scares me! The last time things went this easy for me, I had to return to that damn store three times! Anyway, I completely schmoozed the sales person and he totally hooked me up! This is what he did for me:

- $100 off the price of the TV set!
- $20 off the cost of the entertainment stand because the one I wanted was no longer in stock and he agreed to let me have the other one for the same price as the first when I asked. That would have reduced the amount by $10 but when he rang up the purchase, he gave me a $20 discount! It was no mistake on his part either, he said he did it because he liked me! See? I'm not always a bitch!
- The only way to get the two TVs in my family room hauled away is if I had them make a delivery. I chose to save $125 by taking home the stand with me and build it myself so that it would be ready for when they delivered the TV. He was able to reduce the $90 delivery charge to $30 and he altogether eliminated their usual $30 haul-away charge.
- After delivery, the store's techs have to come out to hook up the TV and to make sure it's working properly. My sales guy was able to cut that cost in half.

All-in-all, he still made a nice commission off my purchase and I still almost poked my eyes out with a dull pencil point when I saw the total cost! I'm hoping this TV pays for itself the way my ancient, out-dated one did!

The cool thing about this store is that they have a rewards program. Any purchase over a certain amount of money and you receive $15 in store credit. Between this and the computer purchase the other day, this amount will come in handy when I have to get a new dryer! *wink*

Now, onto the phone issue...

The earliest the phone company could get someone out to my house was this Wednesday. While driving home yesterday from getting my daughter at school, I received a call from the phone company that they had an available tech and would I mind them coming out right away? Would I mind?! That's like someone asking me if I would mind collecting a bazillion dollars after winning the lottery! Silly, silly question!

The tech was a woman and she spent a little over an hour finding and correcting the problem and helping me set up the high-speed Internet. My son is extremely excited that his computer is all set up and I'm extremely excited that I don't have to wait around for the phone company on Wednesday!

As you can see, I'm up early again this morning. When I had my doctor's appointment yesterday, I was reminded that the speed might cause me to have some sleep issues. Despite the fact that I was exhausted at bedtime last night and that I took the muscle relaxant prescribed to me when I had my accident, I only slept a total of two hours. It wasn't like I was staring at the ceiling all night, it was actually a very comfortable, peaceful and euphoric rest in which I had my eyes closed most of the night, I just didn't get much sleep. Since I'm such an early riser, I'm taking the pill five hours earlier today so I shouldn't have this same problem tonight.

At least I hope not but with the way my luck has been lately, who knows?!

baby, you can drive my car...

Fuck that! I'll drive my own damn car, thankyouverymuch!

That's right, I am driving and walking once again! And I didn't even have to beat my doctor upside the head with my crutches to let me!

I was early to my appointment yesterday and, surprisingly enough, early taken. If you recall my telling you about my first appointment with this doctor, he fit me into his schedule but I still had to wait two hours so I was yesterday prepared to have to wait before being taken. X-rays were taken of just my left foot and the doctor said he could see no sign of the bone chips or break. He gave me a support brace for my left foot, sent me on my way and I will see him again in a month!

So now, I'm wearing the brace, sneakers and walking with a cane. My PT was here this morning to show me how to do some exercises between now and the next time she checks in on me in two weeks. The doctor said it was up to me about how much longer I wanted to continue physical therapy but he doesn't think I need it anymore since my PT did such a good job getting me back into shape. And this afternoon, someone is coming to pick up the wheelchair.

Driving is a piece of cake. My foot doesn't hurt at all and it's been nice being able to get out and get some things done! My left foot is still causing me some stiffness as well as some new joint issues (my left knee and right hip) given that I'm putting so much more weight on my right foot but the exercises my PT gave me will resolve those issues in time but just to play it safe, I've upped my dose of my daily joint supplement!

Now, as far as these fucking tropical weather systems...Calgon, take me away!

My kids were at their dad's all weekend and the first words out of my daughter's mouth when she stepped foot in the house on Monday night were "We may have to evacuate!".

Apparently, the person who shall not be mentioned here decided it was necessary to "educate" the kids on what was going on in the tropics. I don't know about you, but I wasn't aware that educating someone on a topic consisted of putting the fear of God into them! It took me several days for me to try to put her mind at ease and I thought I had made progress with her until she got into the car yesterday after school and asked if our house was going to fall down! Fuckin' A! Now she thinks that every time there's a damn gust of wind, our house is gonna' go with it! So how is that educating her?!?

We do have an evacuation plan and I do have a hotel room reserved for us just in case. I'm thinking that Hanna will pass us by so we won't need said hotel room for her but I'm thinking about re-booking that room in case Ike decides to grace us with his presence, which looks like a strong possibility at this point. Unfortunately, we're overdue for a biggie of a storm. We haven't had one in this area since the late 1800s.

Please keep us in your thoughts during this time and all you up the east coast, please stay safe this weekend 'cause it looks like you could get it worse than us!

oh happy day!

I'm having a good day today!

I've put thoughts of my family on the back burner. As the devil on my shoulder keeps telling me, fuck 'em! Thinking about them causes my stress level to go up and I have more important things to do with my life, like focus on my kids and worry about whether or not the next shitty meal I cook for them will poison them!

I was unable to rest comfortably at bedtime last night with the big boot on my left foot. It is heavy and can be rather irritating at times. I took it off and it was the first time since this shit happened that I was able to sleep without it on. And it was a decent sleep, too. Yay me!

Nearly four weeks after my accident happened, and I finally figured out a way to take Schwartz outside without having to maneuver stairs. While it's a little difficult to manage the lip of the doorway leading to my back deck, I'm able to put him on the leash and with a 15-foot lead, he can walk wherever he wants on our small back lawn. I'm very proud of myself!

*gives herself a pat on the back*

This idea came at a great time too because my neighbor at the house where my accident occurred, seems to have left town for the long holiday weekend without so much as a phone call before hand to see if I needed anything or to notify me that she wouldn't be able to help me with the dog! It's amazing to me how you find out who your true friends are when something like this happens! For instance, the gal who helped take me home from the hospital the night of the accident and who drove me around all over the place the following day has "disappeared". While I realize that she has her own busy life to deal with, there hasn't been a phone call nor an Email message from her in the last three weeks! Women from my kids' school who saw me at my son's orientation, who are well aware of my condition and whom I thought were friends, haven't bothered to call to see how I'm doing or offer their assistance in any way. If it were me, I would have called and dropped everything to do something for someone who'd had such an accident but I guess some people are so self-consumed and thoughtless that they're incapable of being gracious. As for those who have helped me, while I certainly appreciate their assistance, I feel like I deserve a little more courtesy and consideration. Or maybe those kinds of things only happen in a fantasy world and I have my head shoved far up my tuchas?! But for those who couldn't spare two seconds of their time, I hope they're never in such a predicament as mine because I can't guarantee that I'd be there for them. Yeah, I'm mean and spiteful like that!

After taking several weeks off from my photo blog (shameless plug), I've decided to kick it back into gear. Starting tomorrow, new pictures, photos that were taken before my accident, will be posted. If those of you who've never visited my photo blog (Oops! Another shameless plug, my bad!), please head on over there (Oh shit, did I do it again?! Shame on me!). I'm always looking for an opinion, suggestion and/or critique!

And speaking of photos, it occurred to me this morning that I have yet to show y'all a photo of what my feet presently look like so here you go...

Aren't they just purty?!

So what does my weekend consist of? Laundry and lots of relaxation! Hope y'all are having yourselves a wonderful time this weekend however you choose to spend it!

well, looky looky

Guess who finally got in touch with me?

I received an Email from my parents today asking me for an update. While I don't care to play games, I'm very tempted to make them wait a few days before I decide to respond. I guess I won't be holding my breath any time soon that they'll offer me sincere apologies, but at some point before our next visit, I will make it clear that my former sister is to keep her distance from me at all times.

Yes, I said former sister. I am no longer interested in trying to maintain a relationship with some mentally fucked-in-the-head lunatic who's hated me her entire life. Why do I need someone like her in my life just because she was a mistake and should have never been born?

In other news...I've gotten over that first hurdle. I had four physical therapy sessions last week, and by Friday I was able to maneuver my front steps. This time however, I stayed on my feet instead of rolling down the stairs. Just a little gimp humor.

I'm also able to stand for very short periods of time without the crutches by applying all my weight on my right foot. I'm sure I shouldn't be doing it but my kids aren't tall enough to reach certain shelves yet!

Today, thanks to my neighbor who was able to drive me, I was able to attend my son's 6th grade orientation. I hated that every other person asked me what had happened. I downplayed it as much as possible given that the woman who was wheeling me around was also the woman whose property was where the accident occurred!

Now for the *bad* news...

I'm more pissy than usual. When the kids came home from their dad's last night, it dawned on me that I'm cooped up in this house for another few weeks until my next doctor's appointment and I've become very angry about having to wait. I never thought I'd hear myself say that I'm bored with TV, reading and sitting on my ass! Anyway, from the moment they walked in the door, I started snapping at them for the most ridiculous things. On an irritability 1-10 scale, I'm a 30+. It's like PMS and pregnancy hormones wrapped into one fucking obnoxious package. It's like a fingernails-on-a-chalkboard competition. It's like a fingernails-on-a-chalkboard versus a dentist's drill competition. Uch, you get the point.

I also haven't been able to take any photos lately so for those of you who frequent my photo blog (shameless plug), consider me on hiatus. Just like I haven't really visited your blogs lately, I'm not motivated either to post anything to my photo blog. I do apologize about not visiting your blogs but it's very difficult to stay on the computer for very long periods of time because it becomes uncomfortable. Don't ever think for a minute that I don't love y'all!

For the few of you who participated in the contest I was having, I didn't forget about it but a few things happened...first, like I said, only a few participated and I mentioned that I needed at least 4-5 people. Secondly, I ended up catching a documentary on the type of prize I selected for the contest and it scared the shit outta' me! The prize was a Voodoo doll and, well, basically this person, a high priestess, said unless you know what you're doing, don't fuck with it!

When I was much younger, my mother went on a trip to New Orleans and brought me back an authentic Voodoo doll. I tried to hex and curse people but, damnit, it didn't fucking work! This particular Voodoo doll I had in mind for the contest, came with various spells that could really fuck a person up and while I have a growing list of some people I'd really like to fuck up for life, I decided that I shouldn't mess with it. Maybe some other day when I have nothing better to do with my time, I'll go shit on their lawns instead. *snicker*

boy, i really hate this!

I had my first physical therapy session today and it went well. My therapist is this lovely gal who took it fairly easy with me on my first day. She checked to see how much range of motion I have and, as I thought, my right foot is much better than my left. And (drum roll) she had me up and walking with crutches! It was slow-going but I did it for a few minutes...'til my left ankle felt like it was pulling a bit. I didn't attempt any stairs yet as we've had some very rainy weather lately and I don't need to fucking slip down anymore stairs!!

She taught me how to exercise my feet/ankles doing the Alphabet. For those of you who've had such therapy, you probably know what I'm talking about. For those of you who don't, I have to "write" out in the air, forming each letter with my foot up to four times/day. It's not the easiest thing to do right now, lemme' tell you! But, the more I do it, the sooner I'll be back to being the crazy woman running around like a chicken without a head!

Soon after she left, my feet felt like lead weights and I had to rest for awhile. Even now as I'm writing this, they both still ache a bit. My left foot and calf are a bit swollen but my right foot/ankle are not swollen at all anymore.

This afternoon, a new home health aide came to the house. Thankfully, Schwartz took to her pretty fast. She's very nice and helpful but other than my kids, I'm not liking someone helping me. I wasn't planning on having her go food shopping for me today but I didn't have much for her to do inside the house so I sent her off to the store. I had to send her back a second time because she's not the best shopper! She bought some things that we won't eat and I was not going to keep these items so I sent her back to return/exchange them. Some of the things I was specific about, she got the wrong item but I just kept them anyway because I figured that we can still use those items plus she forgot a few things. I hated sending her back but my list was clear, specific and very legible and I wasn't about to keep those items that she mistakenly bought. I apologized so I'm hoping she didn't have a problem with it but if she does, she'll have to take it up with her boss.

To conclude, I'm not sure I will have someone come in three times/week. I just don't think there's enough to do and even though my kids aren't that excited about helping out, they are old enough to not only be able to assist me but to learn about being responsible.

Now for my family...

Adding insult to injury (what an appropriate phrase for my situation, huh?!), is the silence from my family. I hate them, I really do. I'm really devastated that they are my family. Since they left Tuesday morning, there have been no calls or Emails to see how I'm doing. They knew that I was supposed to have therapy yesterday and they knew I was going to have an aide today. Maybe I'm kidding myself, but my idea of a loving family are people who would have looked past my faults and my unhappiness during this time. A loving mother would have put her arms around me to comfort me. A loving father would have recognized my cry for help, wouldn't have yelled at me and would have offered more supportive words then "If you want them to leave, then tell them to leave." and would have called back to apologize and/or comfort me when he realized he had hurt me with his tone.

Or maybe that kind of family doesn't really exist. I don't know, I've never had any family members as described above. Thank God for my kids who would hug and kiss me all day long if they could. If I didn't have them during this time, I truly don't know where I'd be.

The worst part about the silence treatment I'm being given is that I'm sure my mother and sister have told all their friends what an inappreciative asshole I am. They probably had one heck of a conversation during their eight hour drive back to my parents' home. Hopefully, someone they talk to about me will help them see how difficult a time I'm having with all this which will help them recognize that I'm not this horrible person they think I am.

Unfortunately, the longer they wait to get in touch with me, the worse my reaction will probably be towards them. And I know I should just let it go and not make things worse with my words but I've never been one not to say what's on my mind and something tells me that they need to hear what I have to say, despite the consequences I might have to deal with.

Tomorrow, I'm making a deal with y'all...I'm gonna' get off the depression train 'cause it's been one hell of an awful ride, and I'm gonna' get back into my regular bitching. While all your words have been so wonderfully encouraging and supportive, I need to whip myself back into shape here and I can't do that unless I make a solid effort.

Time to go do my foot exercises! Yeah, fuck me!

the good and bad news

Hey folks! Thanks SO much for the well wishes, suggestions and sweet messages! I'm feeling a bit better today although the pain medication has left me with a hangover I just can't seem to get rid of. Bah!

Let me back up for a moment and tell you some things about the night of the accident. While waiting in the hallway of the ER (it was jam-packed when I got there like I had crashed some kind of party), it seems I became the talk of the ER. Huh? A woman has two broken ankles?! I heard people mumbling about it. I even heard a someone say in a nearby police officer's radio "There's someone there who has two broken ankles?". I'm surprised I didn't make the local news on TV.

I tried looking at the brighter side of things while I was there. I figured it had already happened and there wasn't much I could do about it. If there was a way to go back in time and prevent the accident from happening, I would have! A paramedic walked by and said "I guess you're not going to be going skiing any time soon!" with which I responded "Good thing I don't like skiing!". While the doctor was recording the information about my case into the computer, I tried Lamaze breathing for the pain in my left ankle. He looked over at me, asked if I was hyperventilating and I said "I'm trying Lamaze but it didn't work then and it's not working now!". Of course he giggled 'cause I'm a funny fucking bitch even when in pain. A 20-something girl was wheeled into the ER with two police escorts. Apparently she had been involved in a bar fight and had a broken nose. She was trying to act like she was all cool and shit by smiling and bragging about her broken nose. She looked at me and gave me the sign of the devil. WTF?!?! I looked at her, told her I had two broken ankles and flipped her off. One of the police officers snickered. So you see, I tried to maintain a good attitude about things, lol.

Unfortunately, yesterday morning was filled with emotion that I just couldn't control. I was having very little luck getting an appointment with the orthopedic doctor referred to me by the hospital. He was just back from vacation, he was busy and his secretary was a fucking POS and nasty to me. At one point, I had to resort to calling the ER to find out if they could refer me to someone else. Their policy - whomever was on call the night I was in their ER was the one I had to be referred to and the one I had to see. If I came back to the ER, I wouldn't be permitted to see the orthopod on call because he wasn't the one who was on call the night I was there. HUH?! Can you say "fucked up"?! In other words, they wouldn't refer me to anyone else and there was no fucking way in hell that I was going back to the ER to ring up another extensive bill.

I was about to have a meltdown when my sister insisted that she try to talk to the doctor's office. I knew what she meant by "talk". Her method is to bitch everyone and their grandmother out and then tell them when they'd see me. It seems her method worked because a nice doctor there said he'd fit me into his schedule...even though he kept me waiting for two hours, I'm still grateful.

So here's the good and bad news. The good news is that while I have bone chips in both ankles, they're not officially broken. They are, however, severely sprained, especially the left ankle and sprained parts take longer to heal. My left foot is in a boot which is the most uncomfortable thing to deal with. I was more mobile with the initial splint on my foot. I've already strained my thigh muscle from this contraption because I'm not allowed to apply any amount of pressure to the left ankle and I have to do my best to keep it elevated and off the floor even when in motion around the house. The right ankle is in an air brace and does not really hurt that much so I can apply some pressure and I use it to help me get around. I'm still getting around using my son's desk chair and it works for me so I'm "pleased" about that. I was given a prescription for a wheelchair which I have but I have too many corners in my house to be able to maneuver it so I will only be able to use it when I'm outside the house. And lucky me is going to start having home physical therapy next week. Yay me!

Have I mentioned yet that on top of all that I have my period and my daughter gave me her cold???

The good thing about this is that I got out of my trip to Florida with the kids. The bad news is that my mom and sister are coming into town tomorrow to help out. 'Help out' in this situation means be critical of the way my house looks and bitch at me every other second. My sister has already bitched me out several times about how inappreciative I am about their help even though I've thanked her several times for everything they've already done for me. Whatever, I can't be bothered with the bullshit right now. I gotta' try to make the best of a bad thing, ya' know?

Also starting next week, I have home health care coming to help me out around the house. My mother made a point of telling me this person will help bathe me. Um...unless this person is some built 20-year blonde, blue-eyed man named Lars, this person ain't touching me. If I don't like getting massages from strangers, I'm certainly not stripping nekkid for someone to bathe me. Especially since I knew perfectly well how to bathe myself, thankyouverymuch!!

I have several friends bending over backwards for me and while I'm so appreciative of their help, I absolutely hate not being able to do things for myself. My neighbor across the street where I fell is being so unbelievably sweet. Not that she wasn't before but she feels so guilty about what happened. She even unnecessarily bought me a gift for taking care of their dog. When I'm back on my feet, I'm gonna' owe these people big.

That's pretty much all the news I have for now. I'm sure I'll have something to bitch about once my family is here so until then...

the unveiling

This is it! I have finished putting the final touches on my photo blog and I don't think there's anything left for me to do. The rest is up to y'all. So scoot! Get your fannies over there and tell me whatcha' think!

Hope y'all have had as quiet and uneventful Sunday as I have!

i can't believe i ate the whoooooooooole thing!

OMG. If someone wouldn't mind handing me a pin, I would like to pop this balloon-of-a-stomach of mine. Talk about a food baby!

My daughter and I went out for a steak dinner this evening and then ate far too much. I stuck a candle in my steak and my daughter sang Happy Birthday to me! THEN, as if the appetizer, bread, salad and main course weren't enough, we had to, according to my daughter, stop at the supermarket two seconds down the road to get a slice of cake for each of us.

Honestly, I think I'm gonna' explode. Or puke. Whichever comes first! I'm not sure which is better.

I had a great day today! My first day taking pix for my photo blog! I awoke really early because there were a few shots I wanted to catch at sunrise. However, they didn't turn out as expected. One was on an overpass and I was surprised at how much traffic was going by at 5-something in the morning! And those driving were just as shocked to see some dimwit walking on a highway as I was at how fast those fuckers were going! I finally decided that I didn't have a death wish and didn't want to die on my birthday so I turned around on the highway to catch something else I had in mind. I picked a good time to go back to my car because soon after getting in did a cop pass me and I would have surely been ticketed had he seen me walking in the dark, just begging to be hit!

I was close to missing the sunrise and wanted to capture a particular object. Soon after getting out of my car, a pickup truck passed me, then slowed down and backed up! It was a nice guy seeing if I needed help but it could have been anyone and I got a little scared. So I quickly snapped a few shots but when I imported them to my computer later, the sunrise was beautiful but you couldn't see the object so I'm just gonna' have to shoot the object in mind during the day another time.

I had a few more stops to make then treated myself to breakfast while waiting for my next and final stop to open. My blog is this close to being launched! Yay me!

Thank you to those who wished me a Happy Birthday here as well as called and sent me Email messages! I feel no older than yesterday but gimme' a day or two for it to sink in! *wink*

the day before

Well, it's almost here. The one day I've been dreading for at least the last five years.

I remember the line from When Harry Met Sally in which Meg Ryan's character cries,
I'm gonna' be 40!
Billy Crystal: When?
Meg: Someday!

That 'someday' is tomorrow for me. And ya' know what? It'll still feel like today only I'll have some family members making a huge fuss over me and trying to make me feel old! Or at least trying to convince me that I'm old!

After all the arguing that took place with the person who shall not be mentioned here, he ended up trying to joke around with me about my age. Actually, I should say he failed. There was a time when I wanted to be friends with him and for some reason, usually whenever it suits him, he seems to think that he can still talk to me in certain ways as if I'm interested. In the past when I've tried to lighten the mood or make a joke with him, he usually stays stone-faced and just rolls his eyes. I'm pretty sure his recent marriage has caused him to lose his entire sense of humor. But who am I to judge?! *wink*

Anyway, after the whole thing was said and done he wrote back:

Mid-life crisis time.

My response:

Men go through mid-life crisis. Women improve with age.

No response needed from him, no response given.

And it's also not necessary for me to run out and buy a Mercedes convertible like he did when he turned 40. Despite mini-vans being the ugliest thing that car manufacturers ever created, I like my mini-van just fine. I don't have a need to impress other people with material things.

And now y'all should bow down to me, bitches! I am the awesomest!

I have learned how to use my new digital camera! Over the last few days, I spent a rather lengthy amount of time searching for a decent template for my photo blog but nothing caught my eye. Instead, I decided that just creating a simple one through Blogger was the way to go as I don't want something too busy to take away from the photos. The blog is set up, I'm headed out tomorrow to take some pictures and I will probably be launching it sometime this weekend! WOOT! WOOT!

Have a great day y'all!

i'd like to thank the Academy...

I had written a long-winded post about how I finally took the plunge and of my experience buying a really sweet digital camera but then something else happened that seemed so much more important than telling you about my crying jags at trying to figure out how the fucking thing works so instead I'd just like to give a big, juicy, tongue-kiss to Tug who inspired me to get off my tuchas and take the leap into photography that I've been wanting to take for years and I'll tell you how things are going at a later date. Like if I end up throwing the fucker against the wall or something.

Now in other news...I'm a weiner!! For those of you who said "Tell me something I don't already know!" I have two words for you, FUCK and YOU. *snicker*

One of my newest favorite blogs is Confessions of a Random Chick. That RC is one funny gal! If you're ever down and in dire need of spewing your favorite drink all over your computer screen you should go visit her.

So I popped over to her blog the other day while she was having a caption contest and I wrote what I thought was a really bad caption. Shit, the only other thing I've ever won in my life was a national book award in Hebrew School when I was in the 3rd grade, so I was determined to win something else before I die! Apparently, RC thought my caption was winnable material and so I've won an Amazon gift card. WOOT! WOOT!!

Just so you know RC, this gift card would have come in mighty handy the other day when I was buying my daughter yet another Gameboy Advance Micro on Amazon, but I digress...

And I know exactly what I'm gonna' get with my gift card...

This is actually a book that came highly recommended by the middle school principal at my kids' school for the parents to read so they can learn how to adjust to our growing children's behavior. It has little to do with religion because religious groups of all kinds learn from reading this book. So thanks again, RC! I've been wanting to get this book and now I have a great reason to do just that!

In other news, my daughter farted so loud last night, I thought a nuclear bomb had been detonated in my backyard. Even the dog was running away. And the worst part about it is the smell followed her around for hours. Everywhere she walked, there was a cloud of green fumes. To say it was nasty would be an understatment. I had to shove cotton balls up my nose so that I wouldn't continue to smell her stench.

And even more news, the newsletter posted on the camp website said that my son, along with a few other boys from his bunk, started off as beginner drummers and after just three days can now play high school marching band warm-ups. WTF?! I can feel a migraine coming on just thinking about it. What part of my telling my son that he can choose to play any instrument but the drums [because of my migraines] does he not understand?!??! I think he has a sudden death for me skillfully planned out.

Alright, yo. I have to go to the pool and do some laps. SO excited, lemme' tell you. Have a good one, bitches!