a reason to celebrate

One year ago today, I created this blog. Those of you who've been following this blog and past ones of mine, might be amazed that during this past year, I've not only made very few changes to its appearance, if any, but have not had a reason to shut this blog down and start again from scratch! Like, oh, from someone threatening to sue me for its content! *wink* Only one other blog I've had, and I've had numerous ones, lasted this long and it was the very first blog I created back in 2005.

Of course, what would my blog be without a little bit of a change after all this time?!

You may not have noticed it yet. It's a very subtle change. *snicker*

Okay then...the saga continues in The Great Appliance Meltdown of 2008!

When I last left you, the TV in my family room was on the fritz and I couldn't connect my kids' new computer through high-speed Internet because there was no signal coming from the phone jack.

The cable TV tech arrived yesterday and determined within just minutes that my TV was, in fact, a goner. I mentioned the TV I had in the attic and he kindly retrieved it for me. It worked! The video, that is. There was no sound and despite his efforts, he could not produce any sound. I guess I should have realized that any TV set that came from my late grandmother, who passed at 91, wouldn't be working right because she was stone deaf and probably didn't even realize that there was no audio!

The tech mentioned to me that he had spotted another TV set in my attic. Yippee! Yeah...not so fast! This particular set was so old, it had no volume, channel or power buttons located anywhere on the set and a remote control was needed in order to change the channel to 4. Surprise surprise, there was no remote control! Now what would make you think that I'd have any luck after the weekend I had?!

Right now, it's TV Central in my family room. Three different TV sets, three different sizes. My biggest worry was getting the two larger ones out of my family room as I am unable to budge either of them with my little finger.

I had no other choice but to go back to Best Buy last night, the fourth time in the past few days, to look for a new TV. YAY! I get to drain even more money from my bank account!! WOO HOO!

If any of you have had to purchase a new TV set lately, you're aware that most of the TVs on the market are flat-screened. Very few are the big, bulky kind from yester-year, like the two that are stuck in my family room. I found a reasonably-priced set that I really liked and I figured it was time for a new entertainment stand as well as the one I have now is older than dirt and has, coincidentally enough, started falling apart recently.

Things couldn't have gone any smoother which kinda' scares me! The last time things went this easy for me, I had to return to that damn store three times! Anyway, I completely schmoozed the sales person and he totally hooked me up! This is what he did for me:

- $100 off the price of the TV set!
- $20 off the cost of the entertainment stand because the one I wanted was no longer in stock and he agreed to let me have the other one for the same price as the first when I asked. That would have reduced the amount by $10 but when he rang up the purchase, he gave me a $20 discount! It was no mistake on his part either, he said he did it because he liked me! See? I'm not always a bitch!
- The only way to get the two TVs in my family room hauled away is if I had them make a delivery. I chose to save $125 by taking home the stand with me and build it myself so that it would be ready for when they delivered the TV. He was able to reduce the $90 delivery charge to $30 and he altogether eliminated their usual $30 haul-away charge.
- After delivery, the store's techs have to come out to hook up the TV and to make sure it's working properly. My sales guy was able to cut that cost in half.

All-in-all, he still made a nice commission off my purchase and I still almost poked my eyes out with a dull pencil point when I saw the total cost! I'm hoping this TV pays for itself the way my ancient, out-dated one did!

The cool thing about this store is that they have a rewards program. Any purchase over a certain amount of money and you receive $15 in store credit. Between this and the computer purchase the other day, this amount will come in handy when I have to get a new dryer! *wink*

Now, onto the phone issue...

The earliest the phone company could get someone out to my house was this Wednesday. While driving home yesterday from getting my daughter at school, I received a call from the phone company that they had an available tech and would I mind them coming out right away? Would I mind?! That's like someone asking me if I would mind collecting a bazillion dollars after winning the lottery! Silly, silly question!

The tech was a woman and she spent a little over an hour finding and correcting the problem and helping me set up the high-speed Internet. My son is extremely excited that his computer is all set up and I'm extremely excited that I don't have to wait around for the phone company on Wednesday!

As you can see, I'm up early again this morning. When I had my doctor's appointment yesterday, I was reminded that the speed might cause me to have some sleep issues. Despite the fact that I was exhausted at bedtime last night and that I took the muscle relaxant prescribed to me when I had my accident, I only slept a total of two hours. It wasn't like I was staring at the ceiling all night, it was actually a very comfortable, peaceful and euphoric rest in which I had my eyes closed most of the night, I just didn't get much sleep. Since I'm such an early riser, I'm taking the pill five hours earlier today so I shouldn't have this same problem tonight.

At least I hope not but with the way my luck has been lately, who knows?!

gwen stefani had it right...

...this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!!

People, this weekend couldn't have sucked worse. Well, I guess it could have but let me not jinx myself more than I already have!

For those of you who are just tuning in, you must read the post prior to this one to fully grasp the weekend I've had. I'll wait...










C'mon already!







At bedtime last night, I told myself that I would have a completely different and much better day today. That, unfortunately, was not to be had. I had the same day as yesterday, only worse!

Yesterday, I couldn't figure out where on my son's new computer was the software I had downloaded. Today I found it, still couldn't figure out how to make a desktop shortcut for it but nevertheless, I found it. Score! Then, after acsessing one of the software programs and getting stuck in one part, I realized that he has to have Internet connection to use said software in order to be able to use the full features. So I set up his new high-speed Internet. It. Didn't. Work.

This is where I should have laughed at everything that had gone wrong thus far but I didn't.

I checked and rechecked everything. Originally I thought it was one of the phone cords but it wasn't until my kids came home from their dad's for the weekend that I learned there's no juice coming from the phone outlet. So now I'll have to have someone from the phone company come out to figure out why as this phone jack used to work. And trust me, they better figure out why and fix it! Anyway, I packed up the Internet stuff for now and I'll have to get back to that later.

Brain-damaged beyond belief at this point, I went downstairs to relax in my family room with what I predicted would be some bad TV. The. TV. Didn't. Work. The fucked up part is that it had just worked for me a few hours earlier. And after spending the better part of an hour talking to a customer service representative, he came to the conclusion that the problem had nothing to do with the cable box because he was seeing from his end that I was getting a full signal, but that it was the TV. The TV lasted us 9+ years, so I guess I got my money's worth, right?!

The only good thing is I have a TV stored in my attic that is similar to the one I already have but I'll need the assistance of a big burly man from the cable company to help me with that and I have one scheduled to come out tomorrow. Just my luck, I'll be out picking up my kids from school or something.

My kids' school has gone green in the sense that most information can be found on the school's website and printed out at home instead of them sending home information on paper with the kids. For the past few weeks, I've been printing out my daughter's weekly spelling lists and the weekly newsletter that identifies what's being done in her different classes with no problems. Today, I was able to print out her spelling list but I am unable to print out the weekly newsletter because an error message kept coming up that I didn't have compatible software. Of course I do have the right software but I thought I'd do one better and download an upgraded version. When I did, my keyboard to this computer started going wonky on me! Several times I would type a word here for this post, only for the letters in that word winding up in the wrong order and trust me, I was typing them in the right order! Doesn't make sense, does it?! Then again, pretty much everything that's happened this weekend hasn't made much sense!

Anyway, since canceling the download, all is back to normal. I'm aware that with what's been going on here, "normal" is all relative. *wink*

the family mess

Thank you everyone for your helpful insight into the situation with my family.

I'm back and forth with this fucking mess! One minute, the angel on my shoulder (I think it's Dave!) tells me to be the better person and let it go. That no amount of psycho-therapy and medication will help these people! Then the devil on my other shoulder whispers in my ear "Send the Email! Fuck 'em! Who cares if they're your family, they're a bunch of fucking nut cases!".

When push comes to shove, I tend to side with the devil in me in this situation. While I know that I should send the Email, that these people need to hear the truth, Dave...ahem...I mean the angel, has a way of pulling me back to my senses! That's not saying that I won't send the message, it just means that I need to put more thought into this before making my move.

It actually doesn't matter how long I wait or what method I choose with which to tell them, the consequences will all be the same. It will result in angry words thrown back at me and them trying to make me feel guilty for everything.

A few things...

Dave, I cannot tell my parents how I feel over the phone. I've tried before and I've failed at doing so mainly because my father will become his usual belligerant self and will take over the conversation, not allowing me to speak and he will do so in a very authoritative and gruff manner. Furthermore, it is difficult for me not to get emotional under these kinds of conditions, afterall, they are family, and it does not phase him in the least if I become emotional because he is not an emotional person nor can he easily show his emotions. Lastly, I have always been one to get tongue-tied. Basically, when push comes to shove, I write better than I speak. When I speak, nothing I want to say ever comes out. Even if what I write gets me into trouble and I have consequences to suffer because of them, at least I know I'm conveying exactly what's on my mind.

My sister and I will never sit down together to talk things over. She is incapable of doing so. My sister does not know how to talk to me without turning it into some sort of argument. She has been my worst enemy since the day I was born. Seriously. My mother used to tell me how not only was my sister an awful child (a 'bad seed' is what she called her) but my sister tried to choke me to death days after I was born. This kind of treatment continued all throughout my childhood and somehow, she managed to make me look like the bad person, the bad child, and I was always the one getting punished for her abuse. And when I say 'abuse', I'm not kidding. She used to verbally and physically abuse me. She would chase after me with knives, smack me around and even smack herself to make it look like someone else, mainly me, hit her. She even pushed me down the stairs once (stairs and I seem to have a love/hate relationship!). When we got older and I became taller, she could no longer physically overpower me to abuse me. She continued to tease me along with some of her friends instead of protecting the only sibling she had. She would steal my things, like clothing, and then I would get in trouble when I found that particular thing among her belongings!

If it all sounds like something out of a horror movie, I could make such movie alone on what I had to deal with growing up.

My sister and I have had these kinds of fights before. She is my father's daughter in the sense that when something doesn't go her way, she will punish everyone around her for it. As for the fights, it was always I who went back to her and put things to rest. She will never do that herself and I am not doing that this time, I absolutely refuse. I am 40 years old and if this is how she wants to treat me, I don't need that kind of person in my life, even if she is my only sister.

The decision I've come to is that while I'm gonna' hold onto the Email, I'm not saying anything to them at the present time. My mother is the only one who's contacted me and ironically enough, she called me today and immediately asked how I was followed by "Do you know who this is?" so she must realize that there is too much time passing between us talking.

As for my father and my sister, whichever way the truth is eventually revealed, it will come out. I would like to think that my family would come to their senses sooner rather than later but knowing how selfish and stubborn they can all be, I doubt they will ever figure out what the problem is until they're told. Some people are just stupid like that!

i've given up

No, I'm not committing suicide. But I am gonna' commit Bloggercide.

I have tried to no avail to comment to your blogs. For whatever Blogger's reasons, I can't seem to comment on many of the blogs lately whose comments section comes up in a separate window. I either can't access the comments with the window coming up as a blank screen or with some fucking message that reads the server reset itself while I was trying to access it OR by some miracle or Mercury being in Uranus *snicker* I can access it, I comment and then Blogger eats my fucking comments. This has been going on for days now and I'm at the point where if I ever crossed paths with some Blogger employee, the crazed, psychopathic killer in me would likely come out and I would slit his/her fucking throat.

Yeah, I'm beyond pissed off. How could you tell??!

I would enjoy being able to show y'all some lesbian loving but it's just not in the cards for me. Today may not be the best day for me - for starters, Schwartz has regressed and has shit in my house two days in a row and then fucking Blogger is being a tempermental, unforgiving horse rectum.

My mother called me the other day. Not to see how I was but to see why they were only being billed for one aide session. I told her the same thing I mentioned to her when she said she was hiring someone to help me - that I don't need help because I can pretty much handle everything on my own and anything I can't handle, the kids help me with. What part didn't she understand the first time I told her?!

Then she told me that my sister wanted to talk to the kids and that she hadn't been able to reach my son on his phone so I told her what had happened. She then asked if she could buy him a phone. WTF? He has a phone and he will get another one when I get around to getting it for him. If my sister doesn't want to be a perpetual cunt rag, then she wouldn't have to worry about calling the kids through my phone but since she chooses to be an unmedicated lunatic, then she'll just have to hold her fucking horses.

I bet you couldn't tell that this is an angry post, could you?!

I still haven't spoken to my dad nor do I intend to until the day he finally gets over himself and apologizes to me for the way he treated me when I needed his compassion and support. My dad is proof positive that even men at 70 years of age can't grow up. Sorry to all the guys who may be reading this but it's my blog, my opinion and I'm not here to save your feelings from the truth. I can't wait for the day when my family has the nerve to approach me to ask me when I'm coming to visit them for the holidays. Now that will surely be a story to post here!

And before I continue, half the post I originally wrote is missing because Blogger won't stop fucking with me. So allow me to rethink and rewrite what was here.

On Friday, my aide came to help me out. You can probably already hear an 'OY VEY' coming! We had been having torrential rain and high winds for several days due to Tropical Storm Fay and, of course, I needed to do some errands which required her to drive. I know, eeeeek! I specifically asked her to drive with both hands and take it slow because of the weather. I think she made it to the five-minute mark before removing one hand from the steering wheel! Listen, I understand about being accustomed to doing things a certain way, we all have habits that are difficult to break, but c'mon!! I let it go because she was taking it slow and not speeding and since I never like backseat drivers, I didn't want to make her more nervous than I already was! Despite the fact that at the end of her scheduled time with me everything turned out fine, I can't forget that we almost got into three separate accidents, none of which were her fault but after we had a near-miss on her first day of driving, I have to think she's just bad fucking luck!

I made the mistake of showing her how my satellite radio works so at traffic lights, while she should have been paying attention to what was going on around her, she was futzing around with the radio! Pushing the 'next' button over and over and over again until I was about to scream! I guess I have to say, that if she had to be playing with it, I'd rather her be doing it while stopped and not driving. If that had happened, she certainly wouldn't be my aide anymore.

After we picked my daughter up at school, I had to take her for a pierced-ear follow-up appointment. My aide dropped us off and I asked her to meet us inside. Literally, she disappeared. Ten minutes had passed and she hadn't come into the waiting room! I asked my daughter to go check on her. The parking lot barely had any cars in it and none of them were mine! She finally came in after my daughter had to go out a second time to find her and she showed up with a can of Pepsi. She didn't have that Pepsi when she left my house so clearly, she took my car to go find a place where she could get a drink! Without having my permission to use my car to do her errand!

And get this one...when we arrived home that afternoon, we had lost power due to the storm. She did a few things around the house for me but there wasn't much she could accomplish without electricity. I didn't really feel like having her hang around, getting paid to just sit there so I excused her 45 minutes early. Of course that was her idea, not mine! Wouldn't you know it? Five minutes after she left, the power came back on!

For all of you who suggested I report my aide, no worries there! However, I don't want to burn any bridges with this service before I'm done with needing their assistance because they have been very good to me as far as helping me with scheduling appointments and great about replacing this aide on certain days when I absolutely need someone. With only ten days left 'til my next doctor's appointment, I'm keeping my fingers, eyes and bra crossed that I will no longer need them after that time.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, my aide called in with car problems on Wednesday so they sent me over another woman. I adored this woman so much, she was such a safe driver and my kids really took to her as well, that if it weren't for her already having another client to tend to on the days that I'm scheduled to have an aide, I would have asked to be switched over to her in a heartbeat.

I guess that's it for me. I hope y'all are having nice weekends and I'm hoping my next post is a bit more cheery! Okay...a lot more cheery! In a bitchy kinda' way, of course!

it was bound to happen

As predicted, my sister started being a bitch as soon as she stepped in my house this morning. A fight ensued about my recycling, of all things, which resulted in my telling my mother either she get a backbone for once in her life and tell my sister to STFU and stop talking down to me in front of my children or they were both welcome to leave. I told her that while I was appreciative of everything they had done for me thus far, it did not give them the right to treat me like shit when they didn't get their way. My mom, sister and I ignored each other for the rest of the morning.

Later on in the morning, my son accidentally dropped some water on the floor. He tried to clean it up but my sister slipped and fell. I asked what happened and she bit my head off and angrily said "You know exactly what happened!". That was it, folks. I snapped. I screamed like you probably have never heard anyone scream and told her to get out of my house. That I would not be spoken to like that in my house. The look in her eyes showed that she never saw that kind of reaction coming and probably, no one had ever spoken to her in such a way before. Well people, you treat someone like shit over and over and over again, you're bound to get a little bit of that shit thrown back at you.

Do you know what she did? She came after me, the psycho that she is, got right in my face and screamed at me for me to get the fuck out of my own house and that she would take my kids anywhere she damned well please with or without my permission. I'll tell ya' something, when she got directly in my face, it took every ounce of will power for me to not lay her out on the floor right then and there and trust me, I could have done it even from a seated position. But then, I didn't need her gushing blood from her nose onto my nice wood floor.

My mother...OMG my mother. She is a spineless wimp and I called her that directly to her face. She took my sister's side. She, who usually knows better, allowed my sister to speak to me the way she did in front of my children. And you better believe that I called my mother that directly to her face. She deserved it and she needed to hear it.

Then I made the mistake of getting my father involved. Not the least bit sympathetic to my situation. He said they were there to help. Yeah, help me jump off a tall building maybe. So my father told me that he would talk to my mom and call me back. He calls me back to tell me that my mother is upset. Excuse me?! I got reamed out by a psycho cunt from hell and she's upset? I'd be damned if I'd let her get the sympathy in all this! My father started yelling at me and I hung up on him. So now he can go fuck himself too.

My daughter came into my room and I asked her what they were saying about me. We were at two ends of the house but I could still here my sister speaking ill of me around my kids. Do you know how much that upsets me? To be constantly undermined and talked about so that my kids will hear such angry words, you can't even imagine how I feel unless you've experienced something similar.

My mother and my sister wanted to take the kids to see a movie. My kids asked if they could go and I told them not unless I received an apology from both my mother and sister. I heard my daughter repeat it to my mother and sister and I heard my sister say "That's not going to happen". Here are two people in my house who do not pay my mortgage or any other bills who think they can treat me like shit and expect that I will stand for it. I was determined to put my foot down any way I could. Well, any way that didn't require me to actually put my foot down.

I heard my mother's phone ring. I knew my father was calling her. She came into my room and tried to tell me how upset she was. I told her to shut up. I told her again that she was spineless and that she had no right to take my sister's side when she, my sister, was clearly wrong. That she, my mother knew damn well that my sister shouldn't have been speaking like that to me in my home and she did nothing to stop it. That I am her daughter too and even if I don't have the same relationship that she has with my sister that she is obligated to act like my mother if she really cared and stop picking sides. This got to her. She got tears in her eyes. Boofuckinghoo.

Then she actually tried to blame me for my father getting angry at me! I yelled at her that I would NEVER be blamed for his temper, that he had a temper long before he had surgery and that I was calmly telling him my story when he chose to take an angry tone with me. And then I told her I wouldn't deal with his shit either. I told her that they better all get their act together where I was concerned or they would never again hear from or see me and the kids again. Ever.

She apologized. However insincere it was, she did it. No one in my family ever apologizes to anyone. My sister did not at the time and I made it very clear to my mother that if my sister did not apologize for her psychotic episode displayed in my home, that they could stick it up their asses and get the fuck outta' my home. Yes, I used those exact words. I am not exaggerating anything, folks. I'm telling you exactly how the situation played out.

In the meantime, the person who shall not be mentioned here and I had been exchanging angry Emails this morning. I'm being accused of sitting on my ass (well, that's a given) and doing absolutely nothing to arrange carpools for our kids for their school and my son's football practices when all I've been doing is just that. Prior to this, I had written him several Emails about what I had done and what I was waiting on to be confirmed. Talk about him needing to clean the shit out of his eyes and actually reading what was being written to him!

My sister came into my room to apologize at the same moment that I was fed up with the Email exchanges and felt it necessary to call the person who shall not be mentioned here. Apparently he is very against my family helping our kids get situated with various carpools to and from school. Why? Beats the fuck outta' me. He continually forgets that despite my injuries, my family being here is more about the kids than it is about me. Yet, he can't stop hating me or my family for two seconds. For those of you who've been with me for awhile, you'll remember a few blogs back how I was this close to being sued by him for some of the content of that blog. He can't seem to shake what happened back then and tells me he hates me and everything about me and then in the next breath tells me that I should go consult with a doctor! Pardon? Why should I go see a doctor? For bitching now and again on my blog about what a dipshit he is which is a normal complaint by anyone who's been divorced from such a schmuck? Who's the one who still, well over a year later, can't let that old blog go?

Basically, I told him to STFU too. I told him he could hate me as much as he wanted and that he could drown in his anger and never forgive me if that's what made him happy, I had to tell him several times that it was about the kids and getting them taken care of and not me. What were his responses? He kept on going and going, talking about how rotten a person I was and that he hated me. Whatever loser. If it makes him happy to say shit about me and talk ill about me to others, more power to him. Apparently he thinks I give a shit what he and others think of me.

So my sister apologized. Insincere at best. I simply nodded, hugged and kissed my kids and told them to have a good time at the movies. Even though they apologized, it's highly doubtful that I will be speaking to either of them for the remainder of their visit. For those of you who say 'let it go', YOU let it go. I've had to deal with this kind of bullshit my entire life. I am 40 fucking years old and I do NOT have to tolerate this kind of shit any longer. I am angry at myself and my present situation. I am angry that I have a family who only cares about themselves despite claiming to care for me. I am angry that the only support system here are a few friends. I am so fucking tired of people treating me like shit and thinking they can get away with it.

I have nothing left to say other than I wish I could go back in time and wish this shit never happened to me. It's so beyond ridiculous already. One person should not have to deal with this much crap.

the good and bad news

Hey folks! Thanks SO much for the well wishes, suggestions and sweet messages! I'm feeling a bit better today although the pain medication has left me with a hangover I just can't seem to get rid of. Bah!

Let me back up for a moment and tell you some things about the night of the accident. While waiting in the hallway of the ER (it was jam-packed when I got there like I had crashed some kind of party), it seems I became the talk of the ER. Huh? A woman has two broken ankles?! I heard people mumbling about it. I even heard a someone say in a nearby police officer's radio "There's someone there who has two broken ankles?". I'm surprised I didn't make the local news on TV.

I tried looking at the brighter side of things while I was there. I figured it had already happened and there wasn't much I could do about it. If there was a way to go back in time and prevent the accident from happening, I would have! A paramedic walked by and said "I guess you're not going to be going skiing any time soon!" with which I responded "Good thing I don't like skiing!". While the doctor was recording the information about my case into the computer, I tried Lamaze breathing for the pain in my left ankle. He looked over at me, asked if I was hyperventilating and I said "I'm trying Lamaze but it didn't work then and it's not working now!". Of course he giggled 'cause I'm a funny fucking bitch even when in pain. A 20-something girl was wheeled into the ER with two police escorts. Apparently she had been involved in a bar fight and had a broken nose. She was trying to act like she was all cool and shit by smiling and bragging about her broken nose. She looked at me and gave me the sign of the devil. WTF?!?! I looked at her, told her I had two broken ankles and flipped her off. One of the police officers snickered. So you see, I tried to maintain a good attitude about things, lol.

Unfortunately, yesterday morning was filled with emotion that I just couldn't control. I was having very little luck getting an appointment with the orthopedic doctor referred to me by the hospital. He was just back from vacation, he was busy and his secretary was a fucking POS and nasty to me. At one point, I had to resort to calling the ER to find out if they could refer me to someone else. Their policy - whomever was on call the night I was in their ER was the one I had to be referred to and the one I had to see. If I came back to the ER, I wouldn't be permitted to see the orthopod on call because he wasn't the one who was on call the night I was there. HUH?! Can you say "fucked up"?! In other words, they wouldn't refer me to anyone else and there was no fucking way in hell that I was going back to the ER to ring up another extensive bill.

I was about to have a meltdown when my sister insisted that she try to talk to the doctor's office. I knew what she meant by "talk". Her method is to bitch everyone and their grandmother out and then tell them when they'd see me. It seems her method worked because a nice doctor there said he'd fit me into his schedule...even though he kept me waiting for two hours, I'm still grateful.

So here's the good and bad news. The good news is that while I have bone chips in both ankles, they're not officially broken. They are, however, severely sprained, especially the left ankle and sprained parts take longer to heal. My left foot is in a boot which is the most uncomfortable thing to deal with. I was more mobile with the initial splint on my foot. I've already strained my thigh muscle from this contraption because I'm not allowed to apply any amount of pressure to the left ankle and I have to do my best to keep it elevated and off the floor even when in motion around the house. The right ankle is in an air brace and does not really hurt that much so I can apply some pressure and I use it to help me get around. I'm still getting around using my son's desk chair and it works for me so I'm "pleased" about that. I was given a prescription for a wheelchair which I have but I have too many corners in my house to be able to maneuver it so I will only be able to use it when I'm outside the house. And lucky me is going to start having home physical therapy next week. Yay me!

Have I mentioned yet that on top of all that I have my period and my daughter gave me her cold???

The good thing about this is that I got out of my trip to Florida with the kids. The bad news is that my mom and sister are coming into town tomorrow to help out. 'Help out' in this situation means be critical of the way my house looks and bitch at me every other second. My sister has already bitched me out several times about how inappreciative I am about their help even though I've thanked her several times for everything they've already done for me. Whatever, I can't be bothered with the bullshit right now. I gotta' try to make the best of a bad thing, ya' know?

Also starting next week, I have home health care coming to help me out around the house. My mother made a point of telling me this person will help bathe me. Um...unless this person is some built 20-year blonde, blue-eyed man named Lars, this person ain't touching me. If I don't like getting massages from strangers, I'm certainly not stripping nekkid for someone to bathe me. Especially since I knew perfectly well how to bathe myself, thankyouverymuch!!

I have several friends bending over backwards for me and while I'm so appreciative of their help, I absolutely hate not being able to do things for myself. My neighbor across the street where I fell is being so unbelievably sweet. Not that she wasn't before but she feels so guilty about what happened. She even unnecessarily bought me a gift for taking care of their dog. When I'm back on my feet, I'm gonna' owe these people big.

That's pretty much all the news I have for now. I'm sure I'll have something to bitch about once my family is here so until then...

a long walk off a short pier

Or is it a short walk off a long pier?! Ack, whatever! Either way, that's what I wanted my son to do yesterday. Swim with the fishes, bitches.

I know that's horrible to say but he triggered my PMS so badly yesterday, I wanted to scream. And then maybe scream a little more on top of that. I actually had to wait a day to recover before writing this post!

It all started when the kids just wouldn't. stop. fighting yesterday morning. I had to get them outta' the house, cabin fever and all that shit. All summer long I couldn't talk them into going to the beach and the one day I did, then I don't feel like going! While I usually don't reward them for bad behavior, it was either the beach or my jumping from the tallest tree. Frankly, I like the way I look, without broken bones and sharp edges jutting through my skin so the tree-jumping was out.

I was pissy from the moment we left the house. Everything under the sun was their fault. If I had accidentally cut my own nose off with pruning shears, it would have been their fault, too.

The migraine had set in long before we left the house. I took my medicine and brought my medicine cabinet with me but hours later with my left temple still aching, I was certain my head would implode at any minute. That, of course, would be their fault as well. They just really know how to bring out the worst in me, lemme' tell you!

So we got to the beach and I still couldn't shake the foul mood. The public restrooms there are...well, let's just say I would rather jump into a Port-a-potty head first with my mouth wide open than have to use those beach restrooms but sure enough, we all had to go. And when ya' gotta' go, ya' gotta' go, am I right?!

I was in the restroom doing my thing while outside the stall, some stupid bitch was griping about how I butted in front of her. Pardon me?! When I entered the bathroom, how was I supposed to know that she exited a stall with a clogged toilet and was waiting for another one to become available? Was I supposed to know that when I entered a stall as I entered the bathroom? Did she mention anything to me before I entered the stall? What do I look like, a fucking mind-reader?!

Ordinarily, I would have said something so nasty, it would have either left her curled up into a fetal position and crying in the corner of the bathroom or in shock and in dire need of medical treatment but this gal was so not worth my time or one of my extreme comebacks so I just gave her the evil death glare while exiting. I didn't want to harp on something so stupid that I would let it contribute to ruining a day that had already had a brutal start.

After grumbling at my children a little more, we walked to the boardwalk that lead to the beach. Since my camera is pretty much attached to my hip these days, I started taking pictures as we were walking, which I will post over the next few days on my photo blog (shameless plug, of course).

As we were walking along, we saw two dolphin and my son got the brilliant idea that he was going to follow them in which he proceeded to run down the beach like his fucking pants were on fire before I could tell he and his sister to stay within earshot. So there they go, down the beach at warp speed and no joke, they were at least a mile ahead of me and I could not scream loud enough for them to hear me and lemme' tell you, I have a big fucking mouth. The people around me must have thought I was an escaped patient from The Hospital for the Really Really Fucked-Up the way I was screeching after them.

My daughter finally stopped because she's got dog hearing and heard the shrill, high-piercing noise coming from that big gaping hole otherwise known as my mouth. As she approached me, I spoke to her with clenched jaw and told her to get her brother. I think the flames shooting from my eyes told her I meant business. She took off, returned with him a few minutes later and I said to the both of them:

I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves today 'cause this is the last time you're gonna' see this beach for a loooooooooooong time.

It took us 40 minutes to get back to the jetty and then another 10 minute walk from the beach to the parking lot! Seriously. Most of our beach time was them running and me trying unsuccessfully to keep up. By the time we got to the car, our time on the meter was almost up. And the ride home was a quiet one. Thank GOD.

Is it a bad thing that every time some kind of crazy shit like this happens I keep hearing the theme music from The Friday the 13th movies...kill,kill,kill,them,them,them,all,all,all....??!

Don't worry. Those little voices I hear don't control my mind. Yet. *wink*

is there something in the fucking drinking water??!

Did I miss the memo that announced this was "Be a Pain in the Ass to Whomever You Can Week"???

I thought my room mama drama would end once school did but no such luck.

Back in May when my daughter joined the swim team, I discovered that my former co-room mom, the sow from Colombia Hell, had her two sons signed up to participate. Well fuck me! I knew at some point this would only mean trouble and last night there was a bit of it.

Let's just say, she must have really concocted a tall tale or two about how awful I was because I had a few words with her husband last night plus I had a very close encounter, too close actually, with the sow herself!

Every Tuesday night the kids have a swim meet. Last night I was asked to work the "bull pen" which, for those of you who don't know, is where the kids gather and are organized for their specific heats. I was simply thrown into it and asked to shadow those parents who'd worked it before. Fine, whatever, I'm cool with that. Anything to help out.

However, every week both the bitch and her cocksucker husband have been working the bull pen despite not being signed up and they act like they're in charge.

I finally found my groove and when Mr. Cocksucker was off not paying attention to what he was supposed to be doing, I was rounding the kids up for their events and shuttling them to and from their respective lanes. At one point I was sitting there getting ready to organize another group when Mr. Cocksucker walked over and stepped in. I asked him if it was time to load another group and he rudely said "I know what I'm doing.".

I was not about to be talked to like that so I said...

"That's not what I asked you and yes, I appreciate the fact that you've done this before and that you know what you're doing. However, I was asked to help out so while you were watching the swimming when you were supposed to be over here, I was doing what was asked of me and if you don't like my helping out, then you can go complain to T. (the woman in charge of the swim team) but you will not speak to me like that just because you are more familiar with this than I. We're supposed to be here to help each other, not be rude."

He probably couldn't get over the shock of my speaking to him like that because he was civil to me for the rest of the evening.

That wasn't the first problem, though. Earlier in the evening I had my run-in with his wife, Mrs. Cocksuckersowrudebitch. I was asked to load a certain group of kids and as I approached the lanes with the kids following, the sow pushed her way through and was telling the kids where to go. I said with a genuine smile "I already have it covered." and continued on with the kids. She nastily said "This isn't your job!" of which I responded, "Last I looked, you weren't on the sign-up sheet so it's not yours either. I was instructed to do this and you'll kindly mind your own business."

Which she did for the rest of the evening.

What a bitch! No, I take that back. There really are no words that best describe her. WTF is wrong with some people?! It's okay not to like someone but Jeebus, learn how to be fucking civil for Pete sake! I tell that to my kids all the time but they must teach their kids to be as mean as possible to anyone whom they don't like. Please, allow me to sign them up for Parents of the Year!

And guess who was also giving me more grief yesterday afternoon? Yup, you guessed it! The person who shall not be mentioned here!

Apparently, it's not only my fault for being organized and responsible with setting the kids up with day camps back in the spring and also arranging and rearranging my upcoming vacation with them to visit my family in August in order for the kids to be able to attend the camps they wanted, but that I cleared the dates with the person and confirmed them with him several times so that they wouldn't interfere with any potential vacations on both sides. Because now that he's planning on picking my son up from camp and wants to take the kids away for the weekend, it's my fault for doing all of the above because he now cannot do what he wants with them and I should consider changing my vacation plans so that he can do what he wants. (Did y'all get that?!)

Stand back, folks! The steam emanating from the top of my head might give you third degree burns!

This was my response:

J., I have always been very flexible when it comes to your schedule and when you want to see the kids or take them on vacation. You decided to think up some plans for the weekend T.'s to come home from camp before inquiring about the kids' plans and whether or not there would be any conflicts so please don't blame me now that you have to rethink your arrangements. I am the one who has always scheduled their summer camps and I have never done so without first consulting with you on the dates. And just because you have to change your plans does not mean I am going to change my vacation plans to visit my family. I have never asked you to change and/or cancel your vacation plans and I expect the same consideration. This was done several months ago when I was making their arrangements for camp and I rescheduled my trip to Florida based on your telling me that you had no conflicts with it. You can't just suddenly expect me to change my schedule around to suit yours just because you're angry that you can't do what you want with them when you want especially, as I've already said, that I am always very flexible with you otherwise and that our dates for my vacation and their camps in July and August were already discussed and confirmed previously.

Ya' know what his fabulous "suggestion" of my canceling/moving my vacation was based on? The fact that my son would be missing football camp before football season started and that if he didn't participate in it, he wouldn't be permitted to be on the football team if that's what he chose to do.

*heavy sigh*

Lemme' tell you a little story...

My son played on the 6th grade football team last year. He wanted to try it, gave it a go and decided towards the end of the season that the sport wasn't for him. He switched his attention towards baseball as being the sport he wanted to be involved in and you've read about his experiences with baseball here and how much he enjoys it. Now a certain someone is under the impression that just because he played football in school, that my son should play it too no questions asked and that he will me missing out on it if he doesn't.

Well, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but not everyone loves football and not everyone wants to play it. And no, I'm sorry, but not everyone in the entire 6th grade is going to go out for the football team in the fall, as you seem to think they are. And no, people don't feel like they're missing out on something they don't enjoy doing!

What the hairy FUCK!

THEN he told me that should our son decide he wants to play football, if he misses the week that I'm to be on vacation with them, that he will not be allowed on the team. I told him he was wrong, that because he was already on the team the coaches knew who he was, how he performed on the field and would certainly let him on the team. Furthermore, I added that I knew of several kids who were on vacation last summer during the practice camp and they were still permitted to be on the team.

Do you think he'd take my word for it?! Of course not! He requested the coach's Email address and several minutes later he Emailed me back and admitted his mistake in thinking that our son would not be permitted on the team if he missed practice camp. Gee, I could have told him that! *rolls eyes*

They say things happen in 3's. I've now had two arguments with him and an issue with my former co-room mom and her icky husband. I think I should be good to go for awhile!

the landscaper chronicles

Let me just start by saying I got shit done today. My kids are away on vacation with their dad and while I don't have much left to do, I am in the process of packing up my son's belongings as he's heading off next week to overnight camp for a month. I should be having feelings of nervousness, apprehension and excitement for him right now and while I'm sure those emotions will hit me soon enough, I've had some minor hiccups to deal with.

'Cause you know me...what would this blog be without the daily bitching??! *wink*

Let me first start by saying that I haven't forgotten any of you and that I have, when Blogger has allowed me to do so, visited your blogs. If I haven't commented on them it's because either Blogger has been a tempermental bitch and won't let me connect to your comments section or because many, including myself, haven't updated their blogs lately. There's always a reason whether it's the school year or now the summer vacation in which I have had to entertain my kids to non-stop or I won't hear the end of it!

I've also had a multitude of other computer issues lately that I am slowly but surely correcting as I write this. For one, my McAfee was sucking big hairy blue balls and I spent half of today trying to correct it before realizing I had to uninstall the whole damn thing. Now I'm in the process of reinstalling the entire security package and with my having dial-up, I have to wait approximately another 7 hours, 30 minutes and 50 seconds before the fucking thing is up and working again! Oh wait...now it reads 11 hours. Now it reads 8 hours. Okay, as long as it's working by the first day of my kids' school in August, I'll be good to go!

And my sprinkler system must be spraying gasoline instead of water because despite my watering on a regular schedule, there are parts of my lawn that look like they're turning to dust. The heat and humidity here are really enough to take your breath away when you step outside and it seems that the air must be drinking up the water faster than it can turn it that pretty shade of green!

Speaking of landscaping, I've also had my landscaper on my mind lately and not in a got-my-juices-flowin' kinda' way either. Well, he has got my juices flowing alright but not in a hot, heavy-petting kinda' way. Those of you who've heard the horror stories before, know that I have a love-hate relationship with my landscaper. When he's here doing what he's supposed to do, I praise him like he's a religious figure to everyone within earshot. When he's not, I wish I could shoot flames from my eyes and burn a hole deep into his head. The latter is one of those times right now.

I mean, is it too much to just prune my fucking trees as he acknowledged he would in early spring and 3 weeks ago when he said he'd be back the following day to do the job?! As y'all know, my family was in town last week and I wanted my property to look in top-notch. My parents are always so critical about how my house looks inside and out, I just didn't need to get grief for it, ya' know? And they didn't but I see how messy and ungroomed my trees are and it bothers me to know that I'm paying for something that isn't getting done.

About a month ago, he sent a letter out with the monthly statement that read because of his busy schedule, he is unable to take everyone's calls so everyone should Email him directly and he will promptly respond to them. So then why is it when I wrote him 2 weeks ago about a growing fire ant problem on my property and requested any advice he could offer me, that I still have yet to hear back from him??

Then there was the situation exactly a year ago where my daughter was growing a sunflower plant and during a service call one day, one of his men took it?! I mean WTF? If you want a fucking snack, go buy a bag of sunflowers at the local convenience store!! My landscaper supposedly asked his men if they took it, clearly one of them did, but did he do anything to rectify the situation? Was it too much to expect that maybe he would be considerate enough to buy my daughter a pack of sunflower seeds?

I realize that this may seem silly and trivial to many of you and that I should probably just shut up, not saying anything to him and take what I can get but when I'm paying $150/month which he keeps raising the rates due to rising gas prices and having to request/remind him to perform services that are supposed to come standard with the monthly fee and I have been a loyal client for nearly 9 years, am I really the only one who thinks I should be expecting and receiving some decent and reliable customer service?

So first thing tomorrow morning I'll be hiring another landscaper. I have written my landscaper a very honest yet harsh Email (amazingly, the words flowed very easily when writing it) but I am not going to send it off until I hire someone new. I don't know why I always think the worst but I wouldn't put it past my present landscaper to call around and badmouth me to other companies to make it more difficult for me to find a landscaper so it's in my best interest to find someone new before firing his sorry ass.

Despite my being somewhat sad at having to end a business relationship with someone who could really be great if he got his shit together, this is long overdue and I know I will be relieved once it's done.

In the meantime, y'all try to stay cool in this wretched heat and I'll keep you posted on all the latest happenings!

this is what happens...

...when I lose all track of time, don't have the time and/or the motivation to blog! My posts turn into novellas! I would like to spare you the lengthy post but I'm afraid that I can't contain myself and instead of writing chapter-by-chapter of weekend happenings, I think I'm just gonna' have to come clean and lay out the whole messed-up truth for you in one lump sum!

So let me start with today before rewinding...

Today was my kids' first true day of their summer vacation. They've been really eager to see the new Narnia movie so we went but within 30 minutes of the movie starting, some asshat started snoring. Loudly. There weren't many of us in the theater and the noise emminating from this man's nasal passages was louder than the movie itself! Soon after Mr. Snorey McSnoresnore started telling us how he really felt about the movie, it became rather difficult for me and the rest of the movie-goers to concentrate on the film and I'll be damned if I pay for and sit through a 2 1/2 movie and then not remember WTF I saw!

What kind of annoyed me more than the guy actually snoring was that the few other parents that were there were very quick to make comments about how rude this guy was, but no one was willing to get off their fat asses to do anything about it! So of course, I took matters into my own hands...

It was a toss-up between standing up in the middle of the theater and shouting to this man to either STFU and watch the fucking movie or go home and take a nap OR get the manager involved. I thought getting the manager involved was the best option especially since she's being paid to embarrass the guy as I wouldn't be able to hide the sheer pleasure of busting his chops. I felt silly telling her about what was happening, I've never done something like that before, but if it's between me and my spending a shitload of money on a movie and this guy being angry that someone took his nappy-time away from him, I'll deal with Mr. Crankypants getting a few less minutes of sleep any day.

Oh yeah, the movie was okay too. Or I should say, the kids enjoyed it.

Now, back to last Thursday night...

I was prepared for my parents' arrival. The most prepared I think I've ever been for one of their visits. My house looked GREAT, in top-knotch shape and I was excited for the weekend. This, of course, was when the shit started going down.

It was around 4pm Thursday night that I tried this new hydrocortisone cream for a persistent dry patch of skin I've had for some time now. Soon after applying it, my hands started itching uncontrollably from the inside out. Within just a few minutes, they were bright red from my rubbing at them, swollen and on fucking fire yet I couldn't stop rubbing the fucking dickens out of them! The more they burned, the more I itched and the more I itched...well, you guessed it, the more they fucking burned! Then the same thing started with the soles of my feet! After that, anywhere I itched, from my head to my ass-crack, I mistakingly scratched which lead to more uncontrollable itching, fiery-feeling skin and then a red rash started taking over.

Suddenly, my lips and chin were numb! I went into the bathroom and could not believe what I saw...my lips looked like a cross between Angelina Jolie's and Eddy Murphy's character, Professor Klump, from The Nutty Professor. Then I realized my tongue was swollen too! So let's see..my face was swollen, my eyelids were swollen and my tongue was swollen. So I was fat-lipped, looking drugged-out and sounding like Daffy Duck. Fucking fabulouth! *snicker*

Of course my parents had arrived into town by that point and were expecting us to join them for dinner. I was not only swollen, itchy, red and having a slight problem catching my breath at times, but I also had to lay down because I had cold sweats and was seeing flashes of lights, like some kind of funky kaleidescope aura. I had taken a Benadryl before things had gotten really bad so when things started passing a bit, I took the kids to see my parents at the hotel and went right up the road to the emergency clinic to see if there was anything more they could do for me, was taken right away, given a steroid shot and put on more steroid pills for the next couple of days. I mean, I've been stressed out before when I've seen my parents but this was just too fucking much!

Thankfully, the rash and the rest of my symptoms went away pretty quickly and I'm fine now. Although I may consider lip augmentation at some point just not something so drastic. *wink*

Friday was graduation day and the school/grade put together a lovely ceremony and presentation that I'm sure all the kids will remember for years to come. Afterwards, there was an equally nice reception where the kids had some of their final art and science projects on display and could retrieve them for safe-keeping.

Here's where the second real humdinger of the weekend popped up...

Those of you who've been reading my blog for some time now know that I've never officially met my kids' stepmother because, simply put, she's refused. I don't know why, I no longer care but the person who shall not be mentioned here went right up to my parents with her by his side and introduced her to them.

Now lemme' tell you something about my dad...my dad has a temper however, I can count on one hand how often I've seen that temper rise to unbelievable heights. When my dad was voicing his disgust for 'them' after he was introduced to 'her', knowing that I've never had the same courtesy extended to me...well, it was like trying to talk my dad off a ledge. Trying to tell him to let it go and not to let that kind of bullshit get to him would be like trying to tell the Pope there was no such thing as Catholicism. Absolutely pointless. I could see the steam rising off the top off his head. You see, my dad always likes to take someone's word but I guess he had to witness the blatant disrespect himself to know that I've always been telling the truth about 'them'.

So onto Friday night...where my son was a holy terror during dinner to the point that I had to step aside with him and order him to behave or else. The incessant whining, pitching fits and just trying to argue every point that was being made was enough to nearly me drive me to hurl knives at his head and jab forks into mine. And my daughter, who is usually such a dream to be out with and is a model of perfect behavior for every child to emulate was feeding off her brother's bad behavior and acting like she will one day when she's in high school.

Saturday was a better day with my taking my parents to our pool for a few hours for lunch and so they could watch the kids swim. Saturday night wasn't as nice though. It started out great. I had had a deep discussion with my son about his behavior in restaurants and he promised me that he would behave better, which he did. However, my dad was expecting the worst and at one point started slamming my son with insults for no reason at all. This time, I who told him to back down or else! It was ashame really, my son hadn't been doing anything remotely like he had done the night before and it could have been a very enjoyable dinner for him had it not been for my father who, as always, jumps the guns and makes mountains into a fucking K2!

Or course Sunday couldn't come fast enough! The kids and I got up early and went to have breakfast with my parents at their hotel before they hit the road. It was nice to go home and relax for the remainder of the day. I can't remember the last time I actually relaxed while relaxing! It was nice just hanging out with the kids, watching a movie and snuggling in for an afternoon nap. That's the way it should always be!

more drama than a fucking soap opera

For those of you who are new to reading my blog, I am a room mom for my daughter's class at school. I am in charge of certain activities and I assign tasks and times to parents who sign up for said activities.

Every so often, the parents of a specific grade will show their appreciation to the hard-working teachers by preparing food items for breakfast and lunch. We call it "Wonderful Wednesday", and the preparation behind it consists of a lot more than just parents making food - it's the set-up, the presentation and the clean-up as well. To sum it up, it doesn't matter what one does to support such a day, everyone who helps out in some capacity is appreciated for their effort.

With just three weeks remaining in the school year, this Wednesday is the last Wonderful Wednesday and it wasn't until last week that I found out that there were three other grades besides ours that were participating in this end-of-the-year activity. When it came to our class, there was little left to be done so we were given the jobs of decorating, receiving the food and cleaning up at the end of the day. Fine. No big deal. Who the fuck cares?! Oh that's right...one of the parents in my class cares, that's who!

This morning I contacted the parents who had signed up for this activity and I did what I always do - explained what we were doing and told them when they needed to be there. I asked them if they couldn't be there to please contact me so when I received an Email this evening from one of the parents, I certainly wasn't expecting a long-winded complaint. (my comments are in blue)

"I always prepare food for what ever grades my kids are in and I sign up for every one of them." she said to me. Cool. Since you're such a role model to all parents everywhere, please allow me to throw you a ticker-tape parade because you must be the ultimate parent and the rest of us peasants should be honored to lick your boot straps because you're. just. that. special.

"I didn't know that I would be assigned to come to the school. I cannot be there at the time you slated for me.....Usually this is the job of the people in charge of Wonderful Wednesday, not a random parent." Is that so?????? Well then I guess as someone who's in charge of the event, I can honestly say that you're wrong, YOU BITCH!!!!

Here was my first response to this woman's Email correspondence:

E., I understand what you're saying but it is not always the case that someone is asked to bring food. Some people are asked to bring drinks, ice or even paper goods, just as some examples.

I'm sorry you're not pleased with the arrangements that were given to us. I was not in charge of this, I had no say in it and up until last week, I was completely unaware that the 2nd grade had to share this particular WW with three other grades.

As for what you signed up for, you signed a basic list. There was nothing on it as to specifics of what you would bring/make for either this WW or the one we participated in during the holidays. It just so happened, that the WW during the holidays was solely a second grade event and that's why you prepared a food item.

When we do this sort of thing, we have to take the good with the bad. We don't always get what we want. It's not about what we make but simply contributing and showing our appreciation to the teachers who deserve it.

Thanks for your response. I will not expect you to be there.

Her response:

I do appreciate you getting aback to me. I have to tell you I am l a little offended by your email. You're offended by my Email???? There must be a joke in there somewhere! I am well aware of being a team player. Apparently not since team players don't usually complain for having to do something they don't want to do. I do feel like I participate and help out as much as possible (probably more then most!) I have been preparing food for Wonderful Wednesday for both of my children for 5 years now. I am well aware that there may be other jobs that need to be done, but I was under the assumption that the people in charge of the event planned the putting out of food and disposal of food. Then perhaps you shouldn't make the mistake of incorrectly assuming things, whaddya' think??!

I think that to assign us times to be at the school to put out some trays or to clean up when you are going to be there anyway is a little over kill. Really? Well then I'd say it's pretty obvious that you've never been a room mom since part of a room mom's job is to be there to help support the parents during an activity, regardless of what the activity may be, you FUCKNUT. That is just my opinion. You're right, it is just your opinion, because as far as I can see, you're also the only one complaining so that means your opinion must mean jack. Like I said before, if they are in need of any refreshments, drinks, ice or paper products, I am more then happy to supply them. No, with one days notice, I cannot cancel my appointment and will miss the allotted time. Technically, it's two days notice but that's fine, I wouldn't want an adult acting like a spoiled brat who doesn't know how many days are in a week to be forced to do anything she doesn't want to do.

My last and final response:

As you found my Email offensive, I found yours equally as offensive and abrasive especially since all I'm doing is my job. If you feel things can be done in a better way then please, by all means, make suggestions, even volunteer to be a room mom, but please don't criticize me because you're not pleased with an end result that I have no control over.

I'm truly sorry you're disappointed and I'm glad you're voicing your opinion but as I already explained, this was out of my hands. I've been participating in Wonderful Wednesdays longer than you and as far as I've ever seen, it has always been a parents' responsibility to set up and take down, not those of us who are in charge of the event as you assumed. I'm going to be there on Wednesday simply because it's always been my preference to attend an event/activity to help out in any capacity that I can. With regards to WW, some room moms help out with set up and clean up and some dole out such responsibilities to the parents who've signed up and the room moms don't offer their assistance at all. Just because we're the room moms doesn't mean we have to be present for every activity. That's why the parents are there, to help us make sure the activity is a success.

There was no mention in your last message to me that you had an appointment and I certainly don't want or expect anyone to give up their scheduled appointments. I'm not sure I see the problem in assigning times. As a room mom, I have to take care of informing those who signed up what their responsibilities are and what times they are needed. I especially took you into consideration when asking you to be there in the morning because I remembered what times you're usually able to participate due to your youngest's school schedule. Receiving the food is just as important a part in such an event as making a food item. I'm not sure why you seem to be so offended by being asked to participate in a role that you're not accustomed to. The teachers appreciate everyone's participation, not just those who prepare the food.

Again, I've stated what I can. No hard feelings but if you're not satisfied with my response then I can only suggest you contact A. J..

Thank you.

I ask you people, who the FUCK needs this shit??? If I were getting paid to deal with peoples' issues that would be one thing, but I'm not and my job requirement certainly does not entail my having to deal with someone complaining about having to do one job when she'd prefer to do another. Up until last week, I had no idea that so many grades were participating in this particular activity. If I had been asked what our class would like to contribute, I would have said "PLEASE...let our class make some lunch dishes for if thou wilt not, I will be forced to deal with women getting ready to go on the rag because they cannot get their way."

Folks, in a little over a month I will be turning 40. I don't know how old this woman is but apparently it's not beneath her to stomp her feet and whine like a fucking two-year old.

And while I'm on the subject of being a room mom, I might as well make this post a little longer by telling you that my wonderful room mom who at the beginning of the school year told me that she refused to work with me because she's a control-freak asswipe, showed up at the pool in my subdivision tonight with her sons as they are going to be on the swim team along with my daughter. So it would seem that I'm gonna' be seeing a lot more of her than any one person should be forced to.

Someone, please, shoot me now.

making a list...

I have a list of complaints to blog about and given that this is the first opportunity I've had all week, this is going to make for an exceptionally lengthy post.

1. While this may be too TMI for most, I have had an upset stomach for the past two days and if I shit one more time, I'm going to scream. Strike that. I've already been screaming...in pain as my ass hurts like the dickens. From what? Well, I can't decide which is worse...shitting out my internal organs or excessively wiping my ass with one-ply toilet paper. I'm pretty sure I can't live without the internal organs but I can get by slightly with my secondary layer of skin exposed.

2. I had an unusual busy week. Between chauffeuring my kids to and from their after-school activities, their consecutive field days at school, back and forth to doggy day care, watching a gay dog have his way with my poor pooch, the book fair at their school and having hissy fits thrown because I wouldn't allow them to spend a gazillion dollars on all the books they absolutely need (ya' know, 'cause everyone else was getting them) and accessories they also don't need or that would be trashed two seconds after they got home, taking a shit every other second, going through my expensive migraine medication in less than a week and then not being able to refill it right away because my fucking health insurance wouldn't cover the cost, finding out last night that my son had a spelling test today,then finding out this morning that he had neither studied for it all week because his teacher supposedly never gave him the spelling list (which she claims she did) nor did he tell me about it until admitting this morning that he had one, my eldest cat getting a corneal abrasion, has to wear an e-collar for a week, has to be given three separate antibiotics for the infection, had to be shown how to get into the litter box without getting the e-collar caught on the side and I don't believe has actually eaten because, despite my many attempts, can't fit his stupid fucking head into the food bowl to actually eat...I really don't know which has been a more enjoyable experience!

3. Then, speaking of having to chauffeur my kids around, my daughter announced that when she's old enough to drive, she wants her first car to be a limousine and she would gladly make me her driver. Upon asking her how much she would pay me, she said "What, are you fucking kidding me??". Okay, she didn't really say that last part. I just added that in for effect. Yep, it's been that kind of week.

4. Oh, and is my Excedrine Migraine medication supposed to smell like vinegar??!? I'm fairly certain it's not. WTF happened to those capsules inserted in medication bottles to help keep the medication inside fresh?! Are they too expensive to make these days or do these pharmaceutical companies want us to die from their mistakes?

5. And where the fuck is my pizza that I must have ordered, like, two fucking hours ago? Don't they know that my son triggered my PMS this morning which I shouldn't be having since I got over my cycle last week??! And don't any of you dare start on me for giving in and needing to eat some comfort food. Can't you fucking see I'm in a pissy mood?!??!

Fuck. I don't even feel better after venting.

Where's my fucking pizza?????

Fuck. I have to poop again. I'm sure the pizza will clear that right up.